


Singing with Dirt in Your Mouth

by Kharasma



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst and Humor, Bathrooms, F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-10
Updated: 2012-07-10
Packaged: 2017-11-09 13:49:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/456144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kharasma/pseuds/Kharasma
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The night Cedric Diggory visits the prefects’ bath for a soak and a think, he finds that he’s not entirely alone. Myrtle can’t resist a closer look at the handsome one. Slight GoF AU.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Singing with Dirt in Your Mouth

**Author's Note:**

> Ah, the what-if. What if Myrtle had chosen to show herself to someone before Harry? Here she meets Cedric, and a silly conversation unfolds in the bath.

As Cedric uttered the password and slipped into the prefects' bath, he remained unconvinced that what he was about to do was acceptable. For all of Professor Moody's assurances that Delacour and Krum were helped with the egg clue as well, he couldn't help but hear a little voice in the back of his mind calling him a cheater. A truly worthy champion would have solved this on their own, wouldn't they?

_And I haven't,_ Cedric thought, putting a little more force than usual into his turning of the taps. _Now the clue's in my mind. I could try everything else first, but how much time would that waste? Professor Moody wouldn't be wrong, would he?_

No, he wouldn't. Cedric knew that perfectly well. He moved to the bubble taps, perhaps pouring in slightly more blue than usual. It would take a minute to fill completely, so he turned his back on the bath and stared instead at the egg. All that blue was reflected in it, dimming the gold. It seemed to reflect his mood at the moment, reflecting the guilt and doubt right back at him. There was even a faint flicker running down the egg, as if it was crying? No. That couldn't be right. What to do next…

_I_ _**could** _ _erase the hint from my memory and start again, but. Wait. No, that's ridiculous. I can't do that. There's too much risk of permanent damage, and I'm sure it's against the school rules. I'll just have to bear the blow to my pride._

When the bath was perilously close to overflowing, Cedric turned the taps off. He doubled back to the door, ensuring it was locked. No one needed to see him at this tonight. After some sharp jabs at the door, he finally shed his clothes and bent to scoop up the egg. "Just you and me tonight, huh?"

Egg and champion entered the bath, sliding beneath the bubbles. Cedric closed his eyes, allowing the heat of the water to sink into his skin and soothe his tense muscles. He breathed in, breathed out-but maybe he shouldn't breathe _that_ strongly, he thought as a stream of blue bubbles flew in all directions and splattered across his neck.

Cedric looked to his left and saw that the egg was coated in bubbles too. That was close, but still not right. The egg needed to be surrounded by water, not bubbles. He lifted the golden egg in his hands, and naturally, it slipped from his grasp. Quick reflexes honed by years of Quidditch resulted in Cedric taking a sudden flat-faced dive into the water with the egg. He managed to catch it before it hit.

Really, he shouldn't have been worried. A solid egg like that wouldn't have broken on impact, not slowed down by the water as it was. It did crack, though. Cedric's sudden grip had hit the latch to open the egg, and this time, the scream was replaced by a rather haunting feminine voice.

He caught part of the first line, his gaze flickering down to the egg in amazement, but his concentration was soon interrupted by an unsettling sight. There was a translucent female form on the other side of the egg, watching him with wide eyes.

Cedric had never shot above the water so fast. Bubbles coated his hair and flew across the room, fleeing from the flailing human in the water. His arm reached back to seize his wand, and he promptly pointed it at the intruder.

It was a ghost, he realised. She looked perhaps a little younger than him, and she seemed to be wearing a Hogwarts uniform from days gone by. In other words, she was a student who was murdered here. But the only case of that he knew was...

"…Myrtle? From the second floor girls' lavatory?"

Myrtle seemed pleased to be recognized. She let out a high-pitched giggle. "That's right! I see I have a reputation."

Cedric was puzzled. If she was the ghost of their lavatory, then what was she doing in the prefects'? He decided to ask her as much. "Then how'd you wind up all the way over here? We're a little far from your U-Bend."

The ghost gave him a look that seemed to hover between exasperation and pity. "Oh, the second floor lavatory is dreadful. You wouldn't want to spend all of eternity there, would you?"

As he thought about this, Cedric had to agree. "So you wanted to stretch in a bigger bath."

Myrtle nodded, flashing him a sly grin. She started to slip along the edge of the bath, moving closer to Cedric. "And it has a much nicer view than the girls'," she pointed out, looking at him with a downright predatory gleam in her eyes.

Cedric's eyebrows shot halfway up his forehead. Myrtle was leering at him. Just as she'd been doing underwater. Below the bubbles. The cheeky ghost had been _ogling_ him. In a flash, he reached for his wand, pointing it at her with narrowed eyes.

"Just how long have you been spying on me?"

"Oh, it's been ages. Not that I ever look when you're getting in or out, of course," she rushed to clarify, though Cedric doubted her total innocence. "The prefects weren't very good-looking before you came along, if you ask me. That red-haired one wasn't very much fun to watch. He was always mumbling about rule violations or chasing after his girlfriend. Most of you could stand to be a little more attractive. But I like you," she laughed, shimmying over to Cedric. This wasn't helping his anger at all.

"I don't know whether to feel flattered or insulted," Cedric admitted. "Now why don't you leave me alone?"

"I'd rather not, thank you."

"Leave. Now." He sounded a little less than entirely confident. What was it about a ghost that was so unnerving? His glare wavered even more when Myrtle's face fell.

"Oh, you can't make me do anything. What can you do to me, Cedric Diggory? Hex me? Kill me? I'm already dead! But no one thinks about that, do they?" Suddenly, In a moment, she'd swung from amusement to misery. She unleashed one of her famous wails, a sound almost as grating as the egg's above-water screeching had been. He winced and covered his ears.

What to do, what to do? He couldn't hex her too well. He considered leaving and finding another place to submerge the egg, but he needed that clue now! That meant staying here and listening again, but Myrtle's crying was going to ruin that whole idea. So as much as he hated to give in, to take the path of least resistance, it seemed to make sense in this situation.

"Myrtle! Myrtle, listen to me," Cedric urged, swimming close to her. "Look. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to insult you."

"Oh, of course you say that, everyone says that!" She let out another wail, skimming across the bubbles and leaving the entire bathroom in disarray. "It's only Myrtle, she doesn't have feelings, she's dead!"

"That's not what I said," Cedric argued. By now, he was sitting right in front of her, previous embarrassment mostly forgotten. He willed her to understand, his breath running short as he rushed out his apologies. This clue-solving was going nowhere if she wouldn't calm down. "I know you have feelings. What happened to you was horribly unfair. You died before you could even graduate from Hogwarts. And you've been lonely all this time, haven't you?" Much to his surprise, he found himself agreeing with these words seconds after they came out of his mouth. If he thought about it, he actually felt sorry for her.

"Yes, and it's been horrible," Myrtle sniffled, flicking a ghostly hand across her nose. Her gaze settled on Cedric's shoulder, and some of that old gleam returned to her eye. Ignoring this, Cedric pressed on. How was he so easily manipulated by people in tears? He'd never know.

"So…you can stay with me, all right? But no peeking."

That seemed to cheer her up almost instantly. Myrtle's smile was wider than before, and she happily settled in beside him. "I suppose that's all right…Cedric," she said, testing his name with a little laugh. "I won't peek below the bubbles."

That was a relief. With the matter settled, Cedric picked up the egg once more and twisted it in his hand. "All right. I need to actually hear the message this time."

He dipped below the water, pulling the egg over his lap to ward off any peeking from Myrtle. Cedric could've sworn he saw a pout cross her face, but the full message from the mysterious creature absorbed most of his attention. He lingered until he was sure he had the message memorised, then surfaced again.

"So…some people who are below ground are going to take something, and I'm going to have an hour to go after them and get it back. It could be in the caverns, or digging in the dirt…"

Cedric leaned back against the headboard, going through all the digging and blasting spells he knew. "Say, Myrtle, do you know if nifflers sing underground?"

Myrtle cackled in reply, tilting her head to get a good view of Cedric's face. What a jawline…those cheeks…oh, if only she were still alive! She'd be in heaven. Though that might not be 'alive' either, come to think of it. "How could they? Their snouts would be full of dirt." But it was rather clear she was paying more attention to Cedric's amusing confusion than any thoughts of nifflers.

"Right," he admitted, a little flustered. "I suppose that rules out flobberworms as well. Maybe they're in caves. Like Fire Crabs. But I don't think I've ever heard a fire crab sing…"

This was baffling. He wished he'd brought his copy of Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them. A mental search didn't reveal any cave-dwelling creatures that could sing-except vampires, they liked dark places. They could sing above the ground, he supposed, but not on a sunny day.

"Do you think it's a vampire, Myrtle?"

"Oh, I don't think so," she laughed. Cedric could feel her translucent fingers on his neck, much colder than the hot water he was immersed in. She spoke again. "They wouldn't want to drain your blood. And I've never heard a vampire sing either," she pointed out, playfully miming a bite with her fingers.

"That's true," Cedric was forced to admit. He shivered and resumed his thinking, only to be distracted by a flashing fishy tail in the window. It was the old stained glass portrait of a mermaid. Rather nice to look at most of the time, but her winking and tail-waving was just a little too much tonight.

"Oi, do you mind?" Cedric asked the mermaid, huffing and crossing his arms over his chest. "I already have one woman flirting with me tonight!"

Cedric's flustered face only made Myrtle laugh. She leaned against his shoulder, clearly delighting in someone else's misfortune for a change. "Oh, that's right. You don't want her, Cedric. At least I can still leave the wall!"

"Right. You still have that," Cedric awkwardly reassured the ghost. He sank back into his thoughts, lifting his hand and watching the water flow between his fingers. Wait…water…

"I'm probably on the wrong track entirely, aren't I? If the egg works underwater and not in the dirt, I'm probably looking for something underwater."

"Very good," Myrtle approved. She was dangerously close to draping herself over Cedric, her head tilted back against his shoulder so she could see his face. How did he keep getting into these situations? Never mind, he thought. Time to really get to work on solving this clue. What did he know that was both underwater and capable of singing?

They probably wouldn't be leaving the Hogwarts grounds, so whatever it was was likely in the lake. He'd be going underwater. At least he knew what kinds of spells to look for now. There was an interesting one he'd learned a few weeks ago that would make a person swim faster. And what about the one that made oxygen masks? The Bubble-head charm? Yes, that was it. He knew how to arm himself for that (possible) hour underwater, but not what he was facing…

"Myrtle?"

"Yes, Cedric?" She was braiding one of her pigtails now, still gazing at him with that eager and knowing grin.

"You were underwater. Are there ghosts that only sing underwater?"

"Oh, no. I can't imagine why anyone would want to stay there. I've been flushed into the lake, it's an awful place. And I can sing above the ground. Oh, do you want to hear it?"

"Er…no thank you," he declined politely. So that didn't work. Back to square two. Myrtle let out a dramatic sigh, and for a second Cedric tensed, thinking the worst was coming, but it was all right. Myrtle was calm, seemingly content as long as she was allowed to have company.

After several minutes of forcefully searching through every underwater creature in his memory, he settled against the side of the tub and closed his eyes again. Maybe it was best to let his thoughts flow unhindered. Let the water hold him, soothe him, let the answers flow…

Myrtle seemed to approve of this plan. He could feel her still beside him, watching his face with the utmost amusement on hers. It was as if she was calling him an idiot, like she knew the answer to the riddle and he'd just blown right by it. But that couldn't be, could it?

As he thought and thought, the bubbles began to dissolve, much to Myrtle's amusement. She stretched against Cedric's side, content to wait until just enough dissolved. When she was shaking with laughter, creating a rippling feeling of hot and cold on Cedric's skin, he figured it was time to open his eyes and investigate.

"What? What's so funny?"

"Oh, it's…" She tore her gaze away, inadvertently looking in the direction of the mermaid. Cedric's eyes followed, and he frowned.

"The mermaid? Was she making faces at me? Myrtle, what…"

He fell silent, staring in awe at the mermaid's lips. Lips. Mermaids had lips. They were famous for singing, weren't they?

"…Merpeople," Cedric breathed. "The merpeople in the lake. Of course."

"I was starting to think you would never catch on," Myrtle giggled. She poked him in the chest, creating that icy feeling once more. Cedric shuddered, though he wasn't inclined to tell her off at the moment. He was too relieved that he'd solved the clue at last.

"Wait….you knew, and you didn't tell me." He began to feel some irritation flare up again, but it calmed when he remembered his dilemma from earlier. "But that's all right. I didn't want any more help."

"You're stubborn, aren't you?" Myrtle was seated on the edge of the tub now, smirking down at him. "A Triwizard champion needs to be, I suppose," she laughed. Oh, Cedric was too much.

"If you say so. But…thanks," Cedric had to say, smiling faintly at her. "I suppose it did help to have someone to talk to."

"Oh yes," Myrtle agreed. "I don't have anyone to talk to these days. No one comes to visit me..." Her voice started to catch in her throat. Great-the last thing Cedric needed now was more wailing. He snatched a towel from the side of the bath and sat up, tucking it around his waist.

"I would if I could, but not even prefects are allowed in the girls' toilets," he admitted. "Are you going to be here? Uh…would there be anywhere else I could meet you?"

Myrtle's smile was even wider than before, and she was as close to Cedric as she could sit without touching hm. "Meeting here is just fine," she insisted. "You'll come to see me?"

"Yes, if you'll leave the other prefects alone," he added.

"I don't mind that at all."

"Lucky me." _I wonder what Cho would say about all this_ , Cedric thought guiltily. It's not cheating to let a sad and lonely ghost flirt with you, is it? "So…I'll see you soon."

"Yes you will, Cedric." Myrtle agreed with enthusiasm, taking one last longing look. "I'll leave you to get dressed now."

True to her word, she disappeared up one of the taps. Cedric shook some of the soap out of his hair, watching that pipe in bewilderment. When he was quite sure she was gone, he drained the tub and started to dry himself and the egg. Dealing with a ghost for a while was a small price to pay for surviving the second task, wasn't it?

\---

That didn't stop Cedric from wanting to protect others from the same fate. So when he met Harry a few days later and passed on the advice (because it wasn't cheating for everyone to be on the same page, Harry had reminded him of that), he added a little extra to the speech he'd planned.

"Have your wand with you. And watch out for the faucets, they're a little tricky sometimes."

"Uh…sure. Thanks, Cedric," Harry mumbled, setting off on his way. 'Take a bath with your egg'. What kind of advice was that?

\---

Several months later, Myrtle's usual (though slightly less frequent than before) wailing from within her lavatory was matched by the wailing of several other girls. They entered her bathroom in a dishevelled pack, all holding hands and crying around the sink. She was quite delighted for the company, of course, but this was unusual. Why were they here? If they were crying, they probably weren't looking to brew a potion or get involved in any other interesting secrets.

Unnoticed by the students, Myrtle's usual moaning stopped. She leaned against the door of her stall, listening to snippets of the conversation.

"I can't believe it!"

"No one was supposed to die this time! Dumbledore said it was going to be safe this year!"

"Cedric…" The owner of the last voice hit the ground hard, dissolving into a fit of sobs. Several other girls joined their fallen friend, huddling over her in a mass of tears and shivers.

Myrtle clasped her hand to her mouth. Cedric was dead? Could it be true?

She thought back on their first conversation several months before. He'd been so sorry that she'd died, and that she was lonely. And he'd visited the prefects' bath with her every so often ever since, telling her about what was going on and allowing her to simply talk. He'd been so happy, so hopeful about this tournament and making his family proud. Surely that meant he had unfinished business in this world, didn't it?

Daring to hope, she silently slipped out of the bathroom and began her search across the Hogwarts grounds. Listening to the hushed conversations revealed that his body had been found at the Quidditch pitch. Oh, it'd been years since she'd seen the place.

When she arrived, an unfamiliar maze loomed over her. That had been where the last task was taking place, Cedric had said. He was going to run through it and come charging out, Triwizard Cup in hand.

She'd thought about coming to watch, but the thought of being around so many happy, living students had turned her away from the idea. The mood of the castle now matched hers, everyone knew what sadness was…

…but somehow she wasn't happy. She searched and searched the pitch, then the rest of the grounds, waiting and waiting for a ghost to appear. He never did. Cedric had promised to stay with her, to keep her company, and he hadn't even had the sense to become a ghost when he died.

By the next morning, the entire second floor of the castle was flooded.


End file.
